Long, shining hair falls across the musician’s face as he sways to the music he is creating. His tight-fitting khaki-colored T-shirt is sweat-drenched. He holds his instrument as if it were an object of passion, eyes half-closed. The backup group struggles to match his intensity.
There are plenty of teenage girls in the audience – why aren’t they screaming, fainting, calling out his name? Because this is not Justin Bieber – this is Joshua Bell, the former teenage violin prodigy, belting out Glasunov’s Violin Concerto in A Minor, Opus 82, in open rehearsal with the San Francisco Symphony Oct. 5.
So why are there no screaming groupies in the classical music audience? Here are some possible reasons:
• The Instrument Effect. Bell does not end each concert by smashing his violin. It is as famous as he is in certain circles. The 1713 Gibson ex-Huberman Stradivarius – twice stolen, recovered the second time after a deathbed confession by the thief – was purchased by Bell and his backers for approximately $4 million. The history (and price tag) elicits a certain amount of respectfulness not conducive to screaming.
• The Costume Effect. As a rule, classical musicians don’t get to wear cool duds. If I had seen Bell in concert instead of in open rehearsal, his muscular shoulders and narrow hips would likely have been effectively masked in dowdy concert wear.
• The Grandmother Effect. The nonpubescent portion of the audience was mostly silver-haired retirees of a grandparently or even great-grandparently demeanor. If any of the teenagers had shown any inclination toward swooning, one of the grandmothers would inevitably have whipped a vial of smelling salts out of her bulging reticule and brought the young lady to her senses immediately.
I, along with other classical music aficionados, have worried about a decline in popular interest in the classical repertoire. If a groupie fan base is needed to energize this genre, I propose:
• Add some bling to the band. Maybe you don’t want to stomp the Stradivarius, but does every string instrument have to be brown?
• Ditch the ties and tails. Maybe not leather pants and sequins, but didn’t we all love Lenny Bern-stein’s white turtleneck and Count Dracula capes?
• Unbutton the audience. Reserve the boxes and balcony for retirees, and save the orchestra area for the mosh pit.
• Allow social media to do its magic. What’s with the “Turn off your cellphones, no pictures” mantra? A few viral YouTube videos and real-time tweets about what a hot presence Bell is in concert, and your symphony attendance issues would be resolved.
And don’t forget to sign me up with the groupies!
Joshua Bell is scheduled to appear again in San Francisco in recital Nov. 10 at Davies Symphony Hall.
Allyson Johnson is a Los Altos resident whose most recent concert screams were prompted by Ricky Nelson.
