The future is pulled by technology and envy: “The Larsons have it, why can’t we?” That means CDs, DVDs, plasma TV screens, iPods, cars that navigate for us, and yada, yada, yada. Strangely enough, there is an opposite pull: vintage clothing, retro colors, hairstyles and finger waves from another era, red steaks and mashed potatoes.
When the future is as frightening as it was in the 1950s, with bomb shelters and “duck under defenses,” I wonder whether science fiction movies will suddenly have no new worlds to conquer. Good grief, they’re remaking “King Kong.”
There is something about the past that makes life seem safer. No one had to take off shoes when boarding a plane or worry when children were a few minutes late from school. We shook our heads at kids who tried to smoke, but laughed when they choked. The alphabet didn’t carry hidden dangers like the big C, and words like “gay” and “hood” didn’t make someone uncomfortable. So today we have PC.
Black and white movies are retro, but young nerds can analyze why they are used today. I like a plain cup of coffee, no cream, no hot milk, no steam and no ridiculous price. And here come middle-aged men who wear their hair long or with a braid down their backs.
The young starlets all look alike: straight blonde hair, extravagant use of eye makeup and the most flesh they can show. The only singer I can identify is Queen Latifah, bless her bounteous body, and wise guy remarks sort of like Mae West’s, only more bawdy. Even Jean Harlow is back in favor.
On the stage, it’s relaxing to see “Our Town,” “Oklahoma” or “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?” A few weeks ago we saw “Dark Rider,” an amazing 21st century musical with characters in clownish makeup executing strangely contorted movements. Yet the plot deals with a man selling his soul to the devil. We really liked it, but I was tired afterward trying to analyze the dramatist’s themes.
What will happen to the TV news when the current graying kings of analysis retire? Cronkite is retro, and all Americans sighed with relief when he said, “And that’s the way it is.” Comedy is already retro, with Jay Leno acting like a smiling Red Skelton. Satirist Jon Stewart has no place to go when world events catch up with his jabs at politics and fools. The skilled comics of the past, such as Charlie Chaplin, Buster Keaton and Harold Lloyd, never seem dated despite their very dated scripts.
The president promises us a safer America with terrorism taking place somewhere else. Does it make the world any safer when airplanes can crash into buildings and more countries have the capacity to make nuclear bombs? I think we’ll be safer only when all nations are so terrified of each other’s stockpiles that fear stops all war.
On a lighter note, is Letterman’s humor retro or somewhere in between when he says, “Fall is my favorite season … watching the birds change color and fall from the trees”?
