Summer should be a time for fun and relaxation, the opposite of feeling blue or depressed. For example, every weekend when we call Howard’s sister, we have to work hard to bring back the stored energy that’s part of who she is. A slight stroke and the death of her husband changed her into a woman who, although she lives in a large, upscale retirement community, has become apathetic and withdrawn.
I suggested she try to start a small dancing group where she would be the teacher. The upbeat change in her voice alone delighted me. In her youth, she had been a professional dancer and, though she is 92, she maintains the grace and energy of her earlier years. Unfortunately, the following week she said she would not get involved, and we found she had returned to her depressed mood.
Depression at any age robs a person of the ability to see the light. It is true that we are going through difficult times, but I refuse to accept the doomsday rhetoric. Last year, my son fell into a mental slump. Nothing looked good to him, most of all himself. But in a year, he has pulled himself out of the gloom, looks better, and though nothing dramatic has happened to change the direction of his mood, he grabbed hold of life, is losing the weight that was damaging his health and started a full schedule of gym workouts. I was his cheerleader and gave him the tough message that he alone was the one who could make a change.
His growing success and self-confidence gave me the strength I needed to keep a positive attitude. My son’s mood had sent me into an unusual unhappy state, but I had the foresight to take it on as the newest challenge in a life that has had many challenges. I felt like a cork that had unnaturally floated down but, with help, was able to pop right up again.
My recent surgery helped me see the world and its possibilities. I may be relegated to the use of my cane or walker, but I cover quite a bit of ground with their help. The little group of women writers meeting at my house weekly has given me an additional surge of pleasure, both in helping them to improve their work and helping me as well. We discovered common interests in family problems and in a very short time have become more than fellow writers – we are friends reaching out, sometimes with laughter, sometimes with tears.
Howard and I put most of our energy into marketing our books. That slow process can be daunting, but I spoke to a literary agent and her advice was, “Remind yourself of all you’ve accomplished to this date and find your happiness in what you have achieved.” I took her advice to heart and turned my renewed enthusiasm to revising an old story about a former student who had sunk deeply into depression. In the story, she accepts my advice for counseling and renews her youthful joy in life. (Note: This is a true story, and when I saw her a year later, I was delighted to hear she had overcome her problem.)
Perhaps helping others find the way to congratulate themselves on successes already achieved will be my second life’s work. People like my sister-in-law and my son need help to kick depression out the door.
As for myself, I have swept away some mighty dense clouds. It feels good to answer “I’m fine, thank you” when people ask.
