As someone who has worked with students for well over a decade, I see a similar sentiment at the end of every semester and the beginning of a new one.
“Next semester will be different,” students tell me. “I will be more prepared, more organized, get better grades, be nicer to my sister, argue less with my family and be happier.”
I’ve heard all of these promises and more.
The resolutions typically come from a place of hope and wishfulness, and the new semester often starts off strong. Approximately eight to 10 weeks in (roughly the same amount of time it takes most people to fall off their New Year’s resolutions), the ultimate challenge sets in. The novelty of new habits has worn off, and sometimes things are going so well that it seems unnecessary to maintain the habits that got things going so well in the first place.
Without a consistent, concentrated time for reflection, or what I like to call “regrouping” (i.e., time to get back on track), it becomes very easy for steam to fade and motivation to come to a standstill.
This time of year, we can read an endless number of articles on ringing in the new year with bigger and better ideals. But how do we make them stick? How do we encourage our children to solidify new habits that lead to lasting change, with less stress and more family harmony?
Every day is an opportunity to try something new or different, and focusing on the present helps many of the students I work with at Green Ivy Educational Consulting make monumental changes. When students wait until after the new year, or after the first test of the new semester, they often unintentionally winnow the window of opportunity and create an insurmountable mountain of expectations.
Instead, I encourage my students with the question: What can you do today to inch you toward your longer-term vision?
Below are a few of my favorite tips to get the year off to a shining start.
• Start at the beginning. We’re at the beginning of a new semester, so don’t wait until your child has dug a hole or created a mountain of missed assignments to seek help. One of the biggest mistakes parents make is waiting until after the wheels have started to fall off to get support – which means that we are starting from a place of repairing rather than building. Start at the beginning when things are fresh and there is a clean slate to work from, as there will be a consistent source of support to check in regularly and ensure that things are going well.
• Leave time for reflection. Children often rush toward a goal without thinking about why they want it to happen. Encourage them to reflect on what went well before and what they would like to do differently. (Note: Adults, do the same thing!) The reflection process is typically the most fundamental part of making a change. It doesn’t have to be long, dark or burdensome, it simply has to give us the opportunity to think through our past choices and reflect on what we want to be different and why we want it to be so. Spark some family dinner conversation or Sunday brunch brainstorming, complete with pen and paper in hand.
• Sometimes it takes a change of scenery. Last year I wanted to return to my regular yoga practice, but I had a hard time getting motivated to go to class. I finally realized that I needed a change of scenery. By November, after a month of nonstop traveling, I found my way back to the mat with the help of a new studio that just felt different from my regular place of practice. I love the new place, and now it has quickly become an easy 6:30 a.m. daily ritual.
• Help your child be open to solutions not yet imagined. A year is such a long amount of time and so much can happen, especially in the life of a preteen or teenager. Sometimes we are offered opportunities that can lead to something new and more amazing than we ever imagined, and parental encouragement and optimism go a long way to fostering attitude and approach.
Ana Homayoun is founder of Green Ivy Educational Consulting, 302 Main St., Suite 201, Los Altos. For more information, visit greenivyed.com or anahomayoun.com.
