Q: Both my husband and I work, which leaves our three kids home alone two days in a week. We have two teens and a 10-year-old. We are concerned about what they may see on the computer. Do we have need to worry?
A: Only if you care about your children! Seriously, summer days are long, lazy days when kids left with unstructured time can easily find themselves in trouble. Since seeing is believing, get into your kid’s world and check out Youtube.com or jakesteed.com. I got to jakesteed.com from a link on YouTube while watching a quite wonderful series of Renaissance to Modern art paintings. It was from beauty to garbage and shock with a click of the mouse.
KEY: As parents, you want to know what’s available on YouTube and other sites as well. Remember, ” knowledge is power” for both you and your kids.
KEY: Ask your teens what they watch on YouTube. Go on the site with them and discuss what you see.
KEY: DO NOT, please, lose your cool! This can’t be emphasized enough. This is a teachable moment – if you don’t go ballistic.
KEY: Have a trial run-through so that you can present a “cool,” as in adult, presence with your child.
KEY: The images on jakesteed’s “Sexy Chicks” are ones they will see sometime during their lives, but for teens who are learning about themselves and others in a sexual sense, the images send a disrespectful and tasteless message about what makes for healthy sexual attitudes and relationships.
KEY: Think back to your teens and what you liked and your parents disliked. What did you like about the way they handled you? Remember every generation has its battles. In the 1950s, Elvis Presley was going to corrupt an entire generation with his gyrating hips and suggestive leer. In the 1960s, the “love generation” based finding love on drugs and the freedom to love anywhere and anytime. Plenty of youngsters survived those temptations to become adults confronting something challenging in their own kid’s lives, e.g. easy access to dubious Web sites.
KEY: The key to survival, then and now, is parental interest, caring and time.
KEY: When in doubt, check it out. After your talk, go for a walk and an ice cream.
Judy Duque of Los Altos Hills is a licensed marriage and family therapist in private practice in Mountain View. She can be reached at [email protected] or 941-1000.
