Parents see the birthday treat bags coming home each week that have become a hallmark of modern school birthdays. But marking a young person’s birthday can happen live in the classroom, too, and two local preschools have developed signature ways to make space for a loooong anticipated moment.
At one cooperative preschool in Los Altos, traditions that combine anticipation and a moment’s satisfying arrival stretch back decades. At Mountain View Parent Nursery School – situated on Oak Avenue in Los Altos – teachers hand-make special felt birthday stars marked with the new number achieved by their 3-, 4- and 5-year-olds. When your birthday (finally) arrives, you get to choose the color and design that fits you best and have your special star pinned on your shirt for the day.
“(The stars) were there when I started, 33 years ago,” said MVPNS director Claire Koukoutsakis, a Mountain View resident, speculating that the tradition likely dates back to an original teacher at the time of the cooperative’s founding in 1969. “They get to wear it and keep it; it’s amazing how much it means to them. We hear about many children having it hanging in their room; some children hook it on their backpack and wear it all year.”
Different classes at MVPNS have their own traditions for day-of group celebration, ranging from a crown signed by classmates to a wax cake with real candles to blow out.
“I just really feel like they feel so loved by all of their friends singing to them and looking at them – it’s their turn, some of them have waited 7, 8, 9 months for it to be their turn,” Koukoutsakis said. “Even the more cautious child that doesn’t like to be the center of attention wants to be there.”
Circle of celebration
At Mountain View’s Windsor Preschool, classrooms borrow from the Montessori concept of a birthday circle celebration of life.
“This celebration reflects our values as a school to take the focus away from ‘stuff’ and put it on relationships,” explained director Shanam Saini.
At Windsor, the tradition celebrating each year a child has been alive involves various objects representing a sun, the months and a globe, with the birthday student physically acting out the passage of time and growth from birth to this birthday.
For preschool-aged children, the numbers that make up age enigmatically tick over only once a year. For someone who can’t yet tell time, or fully comprehend the cycle of days, weeks and months, birthdays occur at a semi-mystifying time announced by the adults around them – sometimes after a countdown of studious queries.
Orbiting the circle of a year as classmates and teachers count and sing makes passage through months tangible, both physical and visible. Families bring in memories and pictures from each year in the child’s life. Before COVID, a family member would orbit the circle with their child; during the most restricted months when campuses were closed, classmates stepped up to take this familial role and walk the months with their friend.
From the developmental worldview of a preschooler, it can be mind-blowing to truly realize that other people have birthdays and we’re all connected, Koukoutsakis pointed out. Participating in the tradition of a shared birthday ritual gives them a chance to look forward to something known and specific, something they can visualize in the middle of a very unpredictable stage of life.
“When they understand this next number that they’re going to be, that they look forward to for 12 months, it has deep meaning to them, and they’re so proud to be that higher number,” Koukoutsakis said. “I think a lot of times in their life they hear, ‘Well, when you’re 3, you can do this,’ or children that they’re looking up to are older than them. It’s a milestone for them that has deeper meaning. This year for the first time we experienced several children stating to us that on their fifth birthday, the most important thing they wanted to do was get their COVID vaccine.”
